Im having a bad allergic reaction due to perming my hair. my back is sick and ugl as fuck. sort of like rashes. It's ugly i tell ya.

I've been feeling really down lately. Just the lowest point of my life. I think i really need something, something that can tell me more to the meanings of life. Mel has helped me a lot recently with my issues, but im just afraid i could go mental some days. I should start searching for God. I havent actually prayed in years. I need to turn my life over. Start new. But i cant. Why?

I really hope that this is just a phase that will go away. I need to seriously find a cure. Havent been feeling myself lately mainly cause i've lost touch with me. I constantly think of others instead of me. I try my best to be the Good Listener but i cant seem to have anyone listening to me. Just listen. You dont even have to say a word. I really need a friend who can understand. Thank you Mel, for helping me. Although there's only so far you can go. The rest is up to me.

Dear God,

Please help me find a way.
Guide me.

I really need you.

Amen.